I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
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I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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