dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize