at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
