just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
