Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
