it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
