SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
