Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
