cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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