Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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