i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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