You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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