You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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