everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize