Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
