How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have post one night stand depression
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize