Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
