Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
