Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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