no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I didn't notice because vodka
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
