dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
pray to the hookup gods
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
