Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
