dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
