As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You're like the curious george of whores
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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