You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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