I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize