we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
