there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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