all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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