Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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