We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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