But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
