awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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