Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
