Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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