i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize