So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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