On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
