I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
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I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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