I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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