I want to have your abortion
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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