addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
