Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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