i think i have two assholes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
