So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
