Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
