i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
