So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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