i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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