Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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