In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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