it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They have beer where we have blood.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
