im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
