Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
