I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
