So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
