Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
