How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
