Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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