It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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