btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
